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Get Curious About Your Resolutions

The most important step to getting clear on your goals for the new year

As chapters end, it is human nature to spend time in reflection and, in turn, spend time thinking forward to new beginnings. The New Year is a natural time to look forward with hope and set some new intentions, goals, and resolutions. Setting them can be fun and exciting, but sticking to them can be challenging. Forming new habits takes discipline, consistency, and patience. It can be hard and the reason why we sometimes fail to meet them!

We start off with great motivation but soon hit resistance, and it’s just easier to go back to what is our familiar pattern. The quality of our life is partially determined by the quality of our patterns and habits. Digging into the science of how to change habits is a great strategy to make changes, but before getting your strategy in place there is an additional step that can sometimes be missed. That step is getting curious about your resolution first - going deeper with your resolution.

Dive deeper into your goals and resolutions

To me, resolutions that immediately pop into our minds are just surface desires. If you start digging deeper into what lies beneath that nagging desire to reach a certain goal, you may find that your real desire is different from what you may be chasing. To level up your New Year’s resolution start by asking yourself a series of questions before setting a strategy in place to achieve them.

If you are thinking about setting some new goals for 2023 this week, try this two step process first to define what may really lead to a more authentic life this year.

Two step process

Step 1 - Listen to what immediately pops into your mind when you think about what you want in 2023.

For example: I want to lose 15 pounds

Step 2 - Now start asking yourself “why” questions.


Why do you want to lose 15 pounds?

Because I don’t like the way I look and feel.

Why does that matter to you?

Because I’m overweight and don’t have a lot of energy to do the things I want to do.

It is a reflection of the way I’m treating myself. I put myself on the back burner.

OK – so your resolution may really be - “I want to spend more time on self care”. Now you can brainstorm and be conscious of the way you are treating yourself throughout the year. Hopefully a byproduct of doing so will result in the scale moving in the right direction. But if it doesn’t you will most likely be more comfortable with yourself and happier about the way you are caring and paying attention to yourself.

Continue the conversation even deeper:

Why don’t you take the time for self care?

Because I don’t have time.

Why don’t you have time?

I’ve got too many commitments.

Why do you have too many commitments?

I have a hard time saying no.

OK – so your resolution may really be - “I want to begin saying no to the things I don’t want to do or the things I want to do, but don’t have time for because it will be at the expense of my own self care”.

Getting real with what your true desires are can be vastly different from your initial goal, but it can set yourself up for victory by exploring what is getting in the way of your losing the 15 pounds.

Hopefully this process will aid in making your goals more achievable. You’ll still have to do the hard work of changing beliefs and habits, but at least you will have a more honest direction. It’s a great starting point to find your true intention. I wish you the best of luck in making 2023 an authentic reflection of you!


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